


distraction

by amberhoneys



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before (Movies), To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han
Genre: ANOTHER rewrite omg, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Falling Out of Love, Fluff, How far will you go for someone you love?, Lara Jean and Peter don't date, Main character just wants Lara Jean to see her the way she sees Josh, Oblivious Lara Jean Song-Covey, Romance, Wattpad sucks so I'm here, no beta we die like men, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:07:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29338791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amberhoneys/pseuds/amberhoneys
Summary: Kissing is kissing, and being seen together is being seen together no matter the true intentions. The crazy thing is that she goes along with it; and suddenly all the school can talk about is about how Rosalie Garcia and Peter Kavinsky have somehow fallen in love one warm autumn morning.or, a Song-Covey girl's letters have gotten out, a quick getaway is needed in the midst of a confrontation, and the only thing Rosalie Garcia thought to do was kiss Peter Kavinsky.
Relationships: Chris & Lara Jean Song-Covey, John Ambrose McClaren/Lara Jean Song-Covey, Josh Sanderson/Lara Jean Song-Covey, Lara Jean Song-Covey & Original Female Character(s), Lara Jean Song-Covey/Original Female Character(s), Past Peter Kavinsky/Genevieve "Gen", Peter Kavinsky/Lara Jean Song-Covey, Peter Kavinsky/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	distraction

Walking into a warm room after being out in the cold is what Rosalie imagines being loved by Lara Jean would feel like. She thinks about these things a lot, what it would be like. The feeling of being home for the holidays, pulling a warm pan out of the oven and wearing ridiculously decorated oven-mitts. Sunshine peeking through a small sliver in the curtains of a dark room, the sound of a camera shutter. Climbing out the window and sitting on the roof to watch the sunrise, the softness of a bathrobe. The feeling of the wind in her hair, and the warmth from holding a cup of tea.

She imagines being loved by Lara Jean would feel like home, more than her own; somewhere she'll finally belong.

Rosalie wonders how her love would feel. If she would feel like home.

She doesn't.

Her love is not home, not the warm feeling after a day of braving the cold. She's the feeling of a marble countertop, a late night drive. Looking at a bright screen in the early hours of the morning, the taste of raspberries and the crushing of pomegranate, the short days of winter. She is not a warm cup of tea or the feeling of wind in her hair, but the flicker of a streetlight and the sound of heels against cobblestone.

She just hopes that'll be enough to make her stay.

Rosalie likes to think it'll be enough, because Lara Jean has stuck around for a long time now, and that must mean something.

She just hasn't 'stuck around' in the way Rose had wanted.

Rosalie can't really remember exactly when she fell for the Song-Covey girl, she had never been able to pinpoint an exact moment.

She used to think it all started in fourth grade, more specifically, after the fourth grade Christmas choir and band concert. She had met Lara Jean two years before, and it hadn't taken long for them to become attached to the hip.

Her grandmother, Gloriana, had taken her out for ice cream; despite the freezing cold and how late it had been in the night. Her mother and father had taken her brothers home for the evening, allowing her to stay out with her maternal grandmother as a treat. She had leaned over to whisper in her ear, her grandmother affectionately getting her attention with her honey-like voice, asking if Rosalie wanted to know a secret about herself, that not even she, herself, knew.

Gloriana had pulled her close, into her tight and warm, loving embrace; cradling her close to her heart. "My love, you may not realize it yet," she whispered to a young Rosalie, eyes wide with excitement and anticipation. "But I see it in you- your heart is big enough for more than one. You'll be able to love them both."

She had been so confused, how could her heart be so big when she was so small? Who was she even supposed to love? How could her grandmother know something about herself that she didn't even know?

"Abuela-" Gloriana had swiped ice cream residue away from the corners of Rosalie's mouth and grinned, eyes sparkling in the midst of the night and the dimly lit shop. 

"Baby, when it comes down to it, you'll know. Girls are just as important as boys in your life."

She didn't understand her grandmother at the time, but the only girl she could think of being important to her was Lara Jean- and that must have been the start, right?

Because that was the moment the revelation of her feelings came to her, that Lara Jean meant more than she should've.

Rosalie's not sure what to think anymore, not sure when her life stopped being about her and her family, and playing dolls and all the things little girls do; not sure when Lara Jean had become her life.

Nowadays, she just assumes that she's been in love with the Song-Covey girl since the beginning of time- she just hadn't known it yet.

She would do anything for the girl of her dreams, even if that meant launching herself onto her childhood classmate, Peter Kavinsky, and kissing him in front of the entirety of her gym class.

There was a time in her life where the name 'Peter Kavinsky' had meant nothing to Rosalie, had completely no relevance in her life. It was a time where things were simpler, where she was surprisingly taller than her classmates, and he was a silly schoolboy who happened to be friends with anyone who passed by. He fooled around in class and always had the best lead pencils, and he had meant nothing to her.

And then there was a time where his name meant a little more than nothing. It had meant something. Perhaps it had meant everything. A time where his name made her seethe, a time where the mention of Peter Kavinsky's name could make her shake and cry. A time where the roles had reversed, and Rosalie was the one who barely reached his shoulders, never mind his chin. A time where she had taken the title of having the best stationary- outranking him as far as lead pencils go.

It had been eighth grade, four years after the choir concert and the trip to the ice cream parlor that had changed everything for her. It was the time of her first heartbreak, notably credited to Peter Kavinsky- because he had kissed her first and only love, Lara Jean.

The only person she's ever truly loved, and the only person who's ever broken her heart.

Another thing Rosalie likes to think?

That it all comes back to him, Peter.

Whenever Lara Jean had unknowingly trampled over her heart, it had always come back to Peter. She likes to blame him as the cause of her heartbreaks.

Especially in the time where Lara Jean had decided that Peter Kavinsky was worth more than a glance.

When she had decided that she liked Peter in a way that was more than friends. Scratch that, Lara Jean hadn't liked Peter.

She had loved Peter in a way that Rosalie could only ever wish to be loved.

It was the reason why her heart had flared with tiny bits of hate for him whenever she had saw him in the halls, because Peter Kavinsky had, and perhaps, would always have a chance with Lara Jean. 

Unlike her. Though she had accepted that long ago, because Lara Jean didn't see her in that light, and it wasn't fair to force love onto someone who couldn't love you that way.

It's also the reason why she respected him as a person; because at the time, Peter Kavinsky was Lara Jean's world, and could've made her happy in a second.

But that was a different time. That was eighth grade, and freshman year- and time changes things and people and the meanings of names and the importance of passing figures; because as a junior, Peter Kavinsky's name no longer meant anything to her.

Peter Kavinsky's name no longer meant anything to Lara Jean Covey, and that's why she stands there now, kissing him in the middle of the track.


End file.
